explains so much / by laurel

Coworker, having returned from lunch: Well you missed out on a lot of good times. And I hope you're happy.

Me: Wow, I think I might cry. Why today of all days, did I stay behind. Why?

Coworker: Because you're selfish. Pretty much that's why.

Me: Oh, that must be it. Glad you clarified.

Coworker: Good, at least we're on the same page.