Can we have a moment?
I feel like your time in the renewed spotlight is running low. There are naysayers out there who are squawking about your ubiquity and obnoxiousness (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of your brightly-colored cousins. They seem a bit trite, don't you think?). They say you're everywhere, they say you're not special anymore. Worst of all, they say you're now solely associated with hipsters, and everybody knows that in the global socio-cultural climate of 2008-9, being called a hipster is a worse offense than being called "irrelevant."
The point is, even Ray-Ban is rolling out newer, better, hipper versions of You; distant frenemies of your timeless élan. I understand the need to push another pair of $120 glasses into the economically beleaguered consciousness of penniless America, because after all, I foist piles of surfwear onto midwestern pocketbooks like it's my job. But what disturbs me are the tactics they employ, Wayfarer. The methods are far more underhanded: planting a fear of the unprogressive in the minds of malleable trendsetters everywhere. Insisting that stars and stylemakers have cast their old hat sunnies aside in favor of newer, better retro rehashes.
But if it worked for JFK and Audrey, then I'm pretty sure you're on to something, Wayfarer. You're sleek, black, and simple. You get tossed about in the junkiest of bags and emerge with nary a scratch on those impenetrably cool lenses. You go with everything, and you lend an air of timelessness to every face you grace with your presence. You're not only the calling card for Don McLean or Risky Business. You're so much more than that; you're ageless. Simple. Bold. Indestructible.
So despite the fact that trendwhores from here to Oxford Circus are decrying your cool factor, I'm not giving up on you just yet, Wayfarer. Sure, the imitations and cheap knock-offs can return to the bargain bins from whence they came, but there's something to be said for investing in the Original, and Wayfarer, I just can't quit you.
Fondly Yours Even In The Event That Oakleys Make A Comeback,