Not To Be The Lukewarm Beer At The Kegger, But I'm Confused... / by LD

Dear Summer Music Festivals,

A word with you, if I may?

I just need a quick reality check and I was hoping you could help me out. SMF, what year is it, exactly? It's not that I am aiming for some kind of Lost-esque mindtrap with my inquiry but the thing is...I feel like a Dharma refugee stuck in a time loop that's forever circling the early-to-mid nineties. It is 2009, isn't it?

Forgive my confusion, but all this timewarp mumbo jumbo is giving me a nosebleed. Is it, or is it not a new millennium? For heaven's sake, even Douglas Coupland managed to transcend the generational pull that made him famous. I'd hoped that we as a culture had managed to move on from partying like it's ________ (insert 90's reference here). But apparently this summer has proven me very, very wrong.

I'm all for nostalgia, but don't you think you're beating a dead horse with this?

In case you fell asleep for the better portion of the early 2000's, the repeat offenders here are Beastie Boys, Jane's Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, Phish, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, Incubus, and Tool. Correct me if I'm wrong (again), but a healthy portion of these bands haven't released anything within the past year, if not anything remotely important within the last decade. Am I right?

Trent Reznor & Crew have been consistent in their efforts at least, but The Red Hot Chili Peppers haven't released anything since 2006, with their more popular efforts releasing in 1991 (Blood Sugar Sex Magik) and 1999 (Californication). The same goes for Incubus, Tool, & Pearl Jam. Though the Beastie Boys have an upcoming release this year, the bulk of their musical contributions were also released in the 90's ('92, '94, and '98 respectively). We haven't heard from Jane's Addiction since 2003, and aside from a release in '07, The Smashing Pumpkins haven't been active since 2000.

So what gives? Why are we so dead set on celebrating a decade whose musical contributions birthed the modern Bro?

I was looking forward to attending at least one of the festivals this summer, but with no big payoff at the end of the day (anyone remember Radiohead last year?) and a slew of bands throughout the day that - though excellent - I've already seen in LA this year, I think I'm going to have to sit this one out. Call me an aging hipster cynic, but all's I'm gonna say about the whole kerfuffle is:

Standing in line to see the show tonight,
and there's a light on, heavy glow
By the way I tried to say
I'd be there